Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*Talked to Rangers’ fantastic and forever PA voice/music maestro Chuck Morgan this week about the team’s all-time walk-up music and he shared a gem about Nolan Ryan. As everyone knows, Ryan is 100 percent “Big Tex.” But on one mysterious night in 1990, he exposed a soft, sensitive side. As baseball’s all-time leader in no-hitters and strikeouts sauntered to the mound for pregame warmups in Arlington, he was normally serenaded by some sort of traditional country music. George Strait’s “The Fireman” and “Baby’s Got Her Blue Jeans On” by Mel McDaniel were two of his faves. “But one night,” explains Morgan, “he wanted me to change his music. Hey, he’s Nolan Ryan. I didn’t ask questions.” Ryan’s audible? Elton John and Kiki Dee’s “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart.” Says Morgan, “I’ve done hundreds of meetings and speaking engagements with him since, but I’ve never had the guts to ask him what was going on that night.”
*Another sign that the Jason Garrett that rocks us to sleep during press conferences is very different than the Jason Garrett behind closed doors, the Cowboys head coach helped to close the deal on the NFL’s surprising move to allow pass interference to be challenged and reviewed by replay next season. According to Saints coach Sean Payton, whose team was cock-blocked from the Super Bowl via a horrendous non-call in the NFC Championship Game, Garrett gave an impassioned, entertaining and informative speech to owners at this week’s league meetings in Arizona. “He was outstanding,” said Payton. “He finished and I was like ‘Dilly dilly!’” The rule change passed by a vote of 31-1.
*Not buying Rick Carlisle leaving the Mavs for the Lakers. Might LA have interest? Sure. But I can’t envision a no-nonsense coach like Carlisle leaving this Mavs team for the LeBron drama, when next season he can coach Luka Doncic, Kristaps Porzingis and a potential Top 5 pick. Asked for his reaction to the rumor, Mark Cuban responded only “LOL. That’s my quote.”
*CBS’s “Zion Cam” is disgusting. Nothing against a remarkable talent and seemingly likable kid. But it’s just another way the NCAA exploits and profits off its unpaid labor. Two points: As good as Zion is (22 points, 8 rebounds per game), where was “Kurt Cam” when TCU’s Kurt Thomas led the nation in both scoring (29) and rebounding (15) in 1995? Also, the NCAA’s official Twitter was boasting last week that “all student-athletes are being provided free Wi-Fi at hotels during the tournament.” I honestly thought it was a parody account. Guarantee the NCAA isn’t paying a penny for Wi-Fi for any room in any hotel. Insulting for it to think we’d be impressed by this supposed “perk.”
*Evidenced by Thursday’s ugly 12-4 loss to the Cubs, the Rangers and their pitching may be unwatchable. Thanks to elder statesman Elvis Andrus, they might be also be unlistenable. Andrus, the affable, comedic shortstop who suddenly is the longest-tenured Ranger, will turn “walk-up music” on its, um, fin this season when he approaches the plate to the tune of … wait for it …
Bay-BEE shark, doo doo duh doo doo doo!
Baby shark, doo doo duh doo doo doo!
Baby shark, doo doo duh doo doo doo!
Baby shark!
That’s right, Andrus is vying for worst Ranger theme music ever by choosing Pinkfong’s annoying nursery dance hit, “Baby Shark.” Or, on second thought, is he actually vying for best Ranger theme music ever by choosing Pinkfong’s addicting nursery dance hit, “Baby Shark”? For the record, Andrus had three hits and a two-run homer for Texas’ only bright spot in an otherwise forgettable final opener at Globe Life Park.
*Sticking with today’s apparent music theme, I recently had a couple of opposite, but similarly empowering experiences. Went to Dallas’ Morton H. Meyerson Center to take in the Dallas Symphony Orchestra’s version of Ravel’s “Bolero.” Gives me hope for this cold, cruel world to listen that beautiful crescendo of music, especially when played in perfect synchronization by a diverse, 100-piece orchestra made up of countless ethnicities. Before that number, however, we were treated to a French pianist named Hélène Grimaud. I am clueless about the piano, but during her 45-minute performance I bet she “hit” 10,000-plus notes with her fingers. It’s not just the way she played them – furiously, flawlessly and with a touch of flair. How the heck does she remember them all? Maybe she was reading music? Otherwise, in my perspective, she eloquently and passionately read us a novel that she had wholly memorized. At the other end of the spectrum, my wheelhouse music era was ’90s grunge. To that end, I’ve begun revisiting MTV’s old “Unplugged” series of concerts featuring bands like Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains. I was struck by a common, eerie thread. Lead singers Kurt Cobain, Scott Wieland, Chris Cornell and Layne Staley possessed heavy, haunting voices and deep, dark songwriting. Their rawness is missing in today’s pre-fabbed muzak. And, let’s be honest, maybe that’s a good thing. All four of those singers died – of suicide or drug overdose – before age 52. Listen in hindsight, and it’s goosebumpy to realize their lyrics – Staley’s “Down In A Hole”, for example – weren’t just an attempt to sell records, they were cries for help.
*Thoughts and prayers to two good guys going through bad times: Michael Irvin and David Feherty. Irvin was in LA this week undergoing exploratory treatment for the same disease that killed his father at age 51: Throat cancer. Feherty, the jovial golf announcer, has battled addiction and depression for years and recently fell off the wagon in the wake of his son’s death. We need more big, bold personalities like Irvin and Feherty on our TVs and in our lives. Godspeed.
*Despite Doncic, who now has as many triple-doubles (7) as a rookie as Magic Johnson, the Mavs are trending toward a Bottom 5 finish in the NBA standings. If they finish with a Top 5 pick in the lottery they keep it. Anything 6 or lower, it goes to Atlanta. Here’s hoping last week’s weird win in Oakland – they led the Warriors by 43 points at one point – doesn’t hurt them in the big picture.
*I’m not perfect by any means. But my obituary won’t include “ … in 2019, he took all $17 million of funding away from Special Olympics.” That stain nearly belonged to Secretary of Education and all-around sweetheart Betsy DeVos. I’ve covered a Special Olympics event, and it’s magical. One of the few chances in those kids’ lives to feel “normal”, and it was being yanked out from under them. Disgraceful.
*The Cowboys are quietly having a productive, shrewd offseason. First, Randall Cobb to replace Cole Beasley. And now the signing of safety George Iloka. He might not have the pizzazz of Earl Thomas or Eric Berry, but he was productive in Mike Zimmer’s tremendous defenses in Minnesota. Bottom line: He’s an upgrade over Jeff Heath.
*Tennis geek-out: I’d trade every U.S. male prospect – including 21-year-old and 34th-ranked Frances Tiafoe – for 18-year-old Canadian sensation Felix Auger-Aliassime. “Felix AA” is going to win multiple majors. You heard it here first.
*Rough as a season as it’s been for Big 12 basketball, it can still be salvaged. Texas and TCU play in the NIT semifinals next week and, with an upset of Gonzaga Saturday afternoon, Texas Tech can sneak into the Final Four. Having three of the final eight teams playing basketball would be a feather in the Big 12’s cap.
*Current NBA players with 30,000-plus points: Dirk and LeBron. Current players with a legit chance to someday join that exclusive club: Kevin Durant, James Harden and maybe, yes I’m serious, Luka.
*Shoutout to my Dad. It’s a feat for a golfer to shoot his age. But the man who turned 79 earlier this month not only shoots his age, he carded a 71 this week. I’ve come to the realization that I will not be able to consistently beat him until he’s six (feet) under.
*This weekend? Actually won a tennis tournament last week so let’s celebrate by … doing taxes. As always, don’t be a stranger.
