Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*Say what you want about Rangers’ general manager Jon Daniels, he’s a magician at sifting through the junk pile and finding genuine gold. This year’s treasure is Hunter Pence, who looked ready to be put out to pasture last year with the Giants. Don’t look now, but this year he’s a candidate to be May’s AL Player of the Month and an All-Star. In San Francisco last year, he hit .226 with four homers. One-third(ish) through this season, the 36-year-old already has 11 homers and is hitting around .300. “I’m not gonna pretend I knew we’d get this kind of production from Hunter,” Daniels told us on this week’s PressBox DFW Live! vodcast. “We knew he still had life in his body and would be a great influence in the clubhouse. The question was whether he could hit, and I think he’s answered that.” Whether Pence is a piece moving forward or merely a tradeable commodity at the deadline, he’s an asset. Daniels turned the same house-flipping trick in the past with A.J. Pierzynski, Alex Rios, Vladimir Guerrero, Andruw Jones, Omar Vizquel, Milton Bradley, Kenny Lofton and Sammy Sosa.
*Was thinking about the Mavericks’ 2020 lineup. (For what it’s worth, Dallas was 2-2 against the Warriors this season and 0-2 vs. the Raptors.) Biggest needs: A point guard who can create his own shot without dominating the ball. A rim-protector who doesn’t need plays run for him to contribute. Dream, doable scenario: Sign free agent Kemba Walker and trade for Clint Capela. Do that, and the Mavs are a playoff team. And then some.
*Cowboys’ promoted offensive coordinator Kellen Moore – that’s still pinch-me weird to think about – says he will call plays from the sideline this season while quarterbacks coach Jon Kitna will be up in the coaching booth. “I like the sideline,” says Moore. “I like being able to interact with the players and talk to Dak.”
*Nothing makes you take stock of your life – how you spend your free time, how you treat others, etc. – like a family funeral. One man’s physical burial is another man’s psychological rebirth.
*Dallas golf guru and Tiger Woods’ long-time swing coach Hank Haney is in hot water, suspended by Sirius XM for his comments about the LPGA Tour on the PGA Tour Radio channel this week. Haney said what a lot of us probably think: That a Korean will be likely win the upcoming U.S. Women’s Open, and that he couldn’t name six players on the ladies tour. It’s not what he said, it’s how he said it. “If I just go with ‘Lee,’ I’d get a bunch of them right.” Yikes. For the record, there are nine Koreans in the LPGA Top 20 and two players named Lee. But Haney would do himself a favor to learn a little about the top Americans: Lexi Thompson and the Korba sisters, Nelly and Jessica.
*Does it really take a little girl in Houston getting hit by a 100-mph line drive for baseball to “consider” safety nets from foul pole-to-foul pole? This should be a no-brainer. If scouts can evaluate players for multi-million careers from behind the netting behind home plate, some family can manage to withstand their slightly obstructed view down the left field line. If not now, it will take a fan being killed by a line drive for the nets to go up. And by then it will be too late. Once upon a time I went to Tokyo to cover a Cowboys preseason game. During the trip we went to a Japanese baseball game. In that stadium we found it initially odd – but eventually genius – that they had protective nets everywhere. That’s a great idea, I surmised. Not long before we see that in America, the rest of the group agreed. The year: 1992.
*Watching Drake attempt to be Spike Lee in the NBA Playoffs makes me long for the days of the cool, collected and equally convicted Jack Nicholson.
*Suck on this, Kevin Bacon: This is the 36th consecutive NBA Finals to include at least one player that played with Shaquille O’Neal. Seems unfathomable. But Shaq played a long time (20 years) and with a bunch of teams (six). This year’s connection is the Raptors’ Danny Green, who was on the 2010 Cavaliers with The Big Shaqsojourner.
*During this pre-summer sports lull, ESPN often digs deep – and dumb – to present such nonsense programming as college fishing, cornhole or Dan LeBatard’s father. I’m a fan of grammar and spelling and such, but what the what does a Spelling Bee have to do with sports? (Aside: Why is a spelling contest a “Bee”?) This year’s competition was on ESPN2 and, to add to the insanity, it ended … in a tie. An eight-place tie. Bee organizers basically ran out of words to challenge these smarty pants. Here’s my idea: Have them attempt to spell each other’s names. The eight “winners”: Rishik Gandhasri, Saketh Sundar, Shruthika Padhy, Sohum Sukhatankar, Abhijay Kodali, Christopher Serrao, Rohan Raja and Erin Howard. I’d even miss on “Erin.”
*There’s cherishing your constitutional right to bear arms, and then there’s this: The NRA is pissed because Texas – yep, gun-totin’ Texas – is poised to pass a spending bill that includes a $1 million public safety campaign touting gun storage. I challenge anyone to eloquently explain the stance against a state-wide ad campaign that urges gun owners to keep their weapons out of children’s reach. My guess? Anything, and I mean anything, that takes a virtual step away from loaded, cocked, holstered guns being brandished clearly out in the open is categorized as “they’re coming for our guns!”.
*From the Dept. of Skinning Cats: The Raptors have 0 lottery picks on their roster. Kawhi Leonard, 15th overall in 2011 by the Spurs, is their highest.
*Sad state of affairs: I can tell you who has the most famous ass on the internet (Kim Kardashian), but I had to look up the last man to walk on the moon (Gene Cernan, 1972).
*Turns out Charles Schwab is a living, breathing, real human being. Saw him with my own eyes at last week’s Colonial, sometimes known as the Charles Schwab Challenge. But you know who isn’t/wasn’t real? Betty Crocker, Aunt Jemimah, Juan Valdez and Dr Pepper.
*Either baseball isn’t great at marketing its players or I’ve fallen way out of touch with the game. There are seven players on pace to hit 50 homers this season and I think I could recognize maybe two of ’em: Cody Bellinger, Christian Yelich, Pete Alonso, Eddie Rosario, Josh Bell, Gary Sanchez and Derek Dietrich. Anyone else lost, too?
*For the second time in 10 years my younger brother awakened to Bell’s Palsy. Just outta the blue, the left side of his face was numb. Like his whole face went to the dentist and never un-numbed. Can barely close his eye. Can’t feel his cheek. Has to chew and drink through a straw, only on one side of his mouth. And he talks like one of Al Capone’s 1920s’ gangster posse that punctuated every sentence with “Gotta go rob that bank, see.” I can joke, because he claims there is no pain and as magically as it appears it slowly goes away. There really is no cure, prevention or permanent harm. Nonetheless, no thanks.
*This weekend? Saturday is a little tennis, followed by a lot of wedding. Sunday is the Dallas Pride Parade in Fair Park. As always, don’t be a stranger.
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