Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
• It’s absurd to believe Dak Prescott is a Top 5 quarterback, or that he deserves Top 5 money. But, in every on-field measurable, he’s been better than Carson Wentz. Therefore, as I wrote in June, he’ll wind up getting more than the Eagles quarterback, or about $33 million per season. Crazy? Yep. Especially when you consider the most Troy Aikman made was $16 million in 1999.
• Since he once infamously scolded DFW for not being a “baseball town,” I won’t acknowledge Saturday night’s induction of Josh Hamilton into the Rangers Hall of Fame. Great player. Bad guy. Besides, No. 32 to me will always belong to David Clyde.
• Quick glance at the Mavericks’ 2020 schedule tells us that the key to the season is surviving a Happy New Year. From Dec. 22 to Jan. 21, they’ll play 13 of 16 games against playoff teams from last season. One of the other three in the brutal stretch is against LeBron’s Lakers. If the Mavs are hovering around .500 come Feb. 1, watch out. April turns much easier and the playoffs could be a reality.
• Wait, Jose Canseco has a hot daughter – Josie Canseco? I’m sorta proud that I’m just now learning this. But, for obvious reasons, very bummed that I’m just now learning this.
• Safe to say the Cowboys still own DFW, especially on TV. Last week’s yawner of a preseason opener against the 49ers drew a rating of 10.3 on CBS11. Other Saturday offerings – Rangers-Brewers (0.9), FC Dallas (0.3) and Saturday Night Live (1.7) – paled in comparison.
• Though I’ve had a dog(s) most of my life, I only like ’em. Too many cons (feeding, whining, barking, vet bills, scheduling, “mistakes,” etc.) and not enough pros (companionship) to love ’em. Sybil, however, admittedly loves/ her two dogs waaaay more than me. To wit: She’s never gotten me on NBC’s Today website.
• Cowboys playing the Rams this weekend in Hawaii reminded me of one of my first real “pinch me” moments in journalism. Fresh out of college and just learning the ropes at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, I’d interviewed Tom Landry and Larry Bird and Jack Nicklaus. But my assignment in December 1989 topped them all. I was sent to Honolulu to cover, get this, UTA’s women’s volleyball team playing in its first – and only – Final Four. I remember how strange it was to encounter Christmas decorations on the beach, and how surreal it was to be paid to be in paradise. Alas, it’s been pretty much all downhill for me since.
• Hot.
• Not.
• Before they sell their first ticket, jersey, $13 beer or $75 parking pass, NFL owners pocket $265 million each from TV revenues. Enough to pay all players, coaches, trainers, salespeople, etc.
• Sports Illustrated ranked its Top 10 college football towns. No. 9 is College Station because “you haven’t lived until you’ve felt Kyle Field sway.” No. 3 is Austin with its “hippie, college-town vibe, no matter the growth.” Give me Longhorns over Aggies any day, but no way Texas’ “town” is better than A&M’s. For what it’s worth, No. 1 is Madison, Wisconsin. Which means, of course, it’s worth nothing at all.
• This may or may not already be a thing, but I’d like to be able to customize text/emails alert tones for various contacts in my phone. Differentiating between a “booty call!” and “yuck, work” in the line at the grocery store would be quite helpful. And entertaining.
• Speaking of cell phones, Jason Garrett was pontificating the other day in Oxnard about their distraction. “We keep cell phones out of our meeting rooms because … ” he was saying, just as the phone of rehired ESPN reporter Ed Werder went off.
• Yes, you can be born gay. But not left-handed. That isn’t DNA, but rather a choice. I can’t imagine wanting to be a lefty, solely because simple tasks like handwriting (doesn’t the ink smear on your hand?) and buttoning a shirt (gives me a headache just pondering its backwardness) would always feel foreign. That said, somehow I totally comprehend elite athletes like Phil Mickelson and Rafael Nadal, who do everything right-handed … except sports.
• I know they’re local guys and I guess I somewhat admire their creativity, but I do not get all the fuss over Dude Perfect. They have 45 million followers on YouTube for … what? Looks to me like they sit around and create weird ways for ping-pong balls to go in cups. It’s different I guess, but is it talent? Is it authentically interesting? Pass. Curiously watched a couple videos and the worst part is the dramatic over-celebrating after each “shot.” Sorry, but I could be laid up in hospital for three months and never be bored enough to say, “Hey, I think I’ll watch some Dude Perfect.”
• While everyone was recently reminiscing about our first trip to the moon, I’ve been fascinated about our journey to the sun. The Parker Solar Probe that launched a year ago is now closer to our sun than any manmade object, breaking the record set in 1976. “Close” to that mammoth fireball, of course, is relative. The probe is currently 26.5 million miles from the Sun, and already experiencing temperatures of 2,500 degrees. By 2024 it will get as close as 3.8 million miles before scientists say it will malfunction and disintegrate from the unfathomable heat. Fortunately, we live a comfortable 93 million miles away. Though today’s 100-plus temperature makes it feel a tad closer, no?
• Of the last 23 quarterbacks selected No. 1 overall in the NFL Draft, only one – Andrew Luck in 2012 – had a winning record as a rookie. Good luck, Kyler Murray.
• It may turn out to be a successful season for the Cowboys. But it’s already a horrible start. Dak is mired in contract controversy, Zeke Elliott is holding out in Cabo and Amari Cooper won’t play the entire preseason because of a nagging ligament injury in his foot.
• This weekend? Friday I’m borrowing a cool kid and going to the Perot Museum. Saturday is a sunbaked tennis tournament in Cowtown. Sunday is a – and I quote my friend – “co-ed pool party/baby shower at her $4.5 million lake house in Heath!” Oh yeah, we fanceeeee. As always, don’t be a stranger.
