Packers 34, Cowboys 24: My Top 10 Whitt-y observations:
- Wait, was that REALLY Ellen, or just a Keebler elf? Are they doppledangers? Not the best game, by the way, to attend for Dubya Bush, Danica Patrick, Jordy Nelson or anybody.
- Dan Bailey, all is forgiven. Wait, some of us never wanted you to leave. But Brett Maher missing two field goals in a 10-point loss just confirms that the grass ain’t always greener and our new girlfriend is no better than our ex-girlfriend. Ugh. Since leaving Dallas, Bailey is 24 of 32 (75%) in Minnesota. Maher, for what it’s worth, is 32 of 40 (80%) as the Cowboys kicker. So why is it that we’d more trust Bailey than Maher for a money kick? You would, right?
- Screw Dak Prescott, give Tyron Smith every penny he deserves. Without him on the left side recently it’s been an absolute abortion. In 2017, Dak’s confidence was shaken via five sacks surrendered by Smith backups Chaz Green/Byron Bell. Sunday it was classroom jailbreak through the revolving door known as Cameron Fleming. Tyron promised Fleming would be “more than fine” but, no, the Cowboys couldn’t even run their normal offense because of consistent harassment of Prescott from his blind side.
- Impossible to take Fox sideline “reporter” Erin Andrews seriously when I just saw her Friday night doing a friggin’ orchestrated line-dance interview with something called “New Day” on the WWE Friday Night Smackdown. “Thanks, Joe, I just talked with Jason Garrett and it seems to me that … ” Nope. Sorry, not interested.
- Down 31-3 late in the third and by 21 entering the fourth quarter, I got an inkling that this could be a cataclysmic DFW rally. Until I remembered, duh, SMU just erased a 30-9 deficit to beat Tulsa less than 24 hours earlier. Mustangs: Hold my beer. Cowboys were headed in the right direction until Dak was intercepted by Kevin King, who – not to be a homer – yanked Michael Gallup’s helmet down well outside the 5-yard tug-free zone.
- Don’t wanna make this a weekly staple, but, um, yeah, Jeff Heath is nothing more than a human pinata. He is bludgeoned, blocked and wholly made invisible by average linemen. I know, once in a blue moon he’ll be in the right place at the right time for a deflected interception, but as a run-stuffing, play-making safety he is an absolute empty embarrassment. Go ahead, check the tape. During Green Bay’s first-half assault, Heath played the role of traffic cone.
- Who the eff is Aaron Jones?! Cowboys’ inferior interior made the Packers running back look like Jim Taylor. I know Jones is UTEP’s all-time leading rusher but, geez … just a guy, right? In a related thought, what has happened to our dynamic linebacker duo of Leighton Vander Esch/Jaylon Smith? Missing tackles. Getting blocked. Bad angles. Alarming regression.
- Good for Jason Garrett. I love seeing the head coach showing some emotion and spiking the challenge flag, even at the cost of 15 yards. NFL officiating is at an all-time joke low. The female ref posing as a school crossing guard was seemingly in charge of merely “everybody scoot back” and almost made contact with Garrett in her comical attempts. The side judge – shockingly, some old dude likely with a bad hip and iffy eyesight only rectified by corrective lenses – threw a flag on Garrett even though he blatantly missed Amari Cooper’s nifty catch-’n-tap-’n-touch on the sideline. Which begs the question, can “You’re wrong!” – even laced with obscenities – ever be a crime? I think not. Don’t shoot the messenger. Fix the message.
- This doesn’t get said often about a quarterback who just threw for 463 yards and two touchdowns, but Dak shoulda signed his contract extension a couple weeks ago. First three games be damned, he is NOT a quarterback that can rally his team via pinpoint accuracy in the pocket. His price is plummeting.
- Bad bounces. Refs sucked. This. And that. Truth is, the best teams – even the average teams – don’t commit 11 penalties, throw three interceptions, miss two field goals and reasonably expect to win a game in the NFL.
