Cowboys 37, Giants 18: My top 10 Whitty observations . . .
- Look, I know. Jason Witten was embarrassingly bad as an analyst on Monday Night Football. But gawd almighty, the production he left behind is just awful. From Randy Moss inexplicably screaming into his microphone during the silly “C’mon Man!” pregame segment to the mega-serious and loquacious Joe Tessitore to the in-over-his-head Booger McFarland, the show is merely a sad shadow of its once-transcendent glory days. Oh sure, ESPN predictably milked the black cat cameo. But between the nauseatingly cutesy nicknames – “D-Law!” “Witt!” “Danny Dimes!” – and sideline reporter Lisa Salters not giving us an injury report on Amari Cooper but rather a pre-fabbed featurette on Eli Manning, the broadcast was 70% style and 30% substance. How did the game open? Booger: “The level of confidence that Dak Prescott is playing with is unprecedented. That’s the thing you’ll notice tonight. Watch how control of this offense he is.” Seconds later, Dak threw a telegraphed, rookie-level interception. Tone. Set. Later, Michael Gallup made an athletic, leaping catch, punctuated by a one-legged leap, ballerina, somersaulting touchdown. Booger’s synopsis? “That’s all Dak Prescott.” What. The. What?!
- After Dak turned the first snap into an interception, the Cowboys ran the same exact play – slant to Gallup – on snap No. 2. You could almost hear Jason Garrett yelling, “Dammit! Run it again!” Garrett, I mean, or a coach that would yell that sort of thing. Or yell at all.
- Fans – and some media – will make an irrationally big deal out of the black cat scampering around the field in the second quarter. Ridiculous. A black cat is bad luck, right? The Cowboys outscored New York, 34-9, after the feline freelance. No misfortune there. As for the Giants, they were already 2-6. They suck. Cat, or not. And, no, I’m not kitten around.
- Love me some Witten. Canton-bound. But it’s past time to give more playing time to Blake Jarwin. In the second quarter he not only made a nifty grab of a bad, low Prescott pass, but also scampered 42 yards for a touchdown. Witten might be able to bend down and make that athletic catch. But no way he goes 42 yards. Maybe 4.2.
- You think YOU were happy about the eventual Cowboys’ blowout? The sports book at the MGM casino in Las Vegas took separate bets Monday afternoon of $88,000 and $325,000 on, yep, Dallas to win by at least seven points.
- Barring something weird, the Giants will stick with Daniel Jones in 2020 and beyond. Meaning the Cowboys have seen the last of Eli Manning. I’ll remember him for a plethora of 400-plus-yard passing days to christen AT&T Stadium and, of course, killing the Cowboys’ 2007 playoff hopes with a 21-17 win at Texas Stadium. Good riddance.
- Botched opening kickoff. Interception on first snap. Holding penalty negates touchdown. Missed field goal. Michael Bennett lined up offside, twice. Randall Cobb fumbled. Black cat. And, somehow, the Cowboys led at halftime, 13-12.
- Surely Giants instigator Will Hernandez is the WWE villain that somebody will eventually get sweet revenge on via a folding chair to the hamstrings. Right? Conrad Dobler, reincarnated.
- Zeke can run. Zeke can block. Zeke can catch. Tony Pollard fans be damned, giving him snaps over Elliott (other than in a blowout or in case of an injury) is as nonsensical as the ’90s Cowboys spelling Emmitt Smith with backup bums like Derrick Lassic and Curvin Richards.
- Cowboys vs. the NFC East: 4-0, averaging 33.3 points per game. Cowboys vs. the rest of the NFL: 1-3, averaging 21.7. Cowboys outscored the Giants this season, 72-35. Beast of the least? Perhaps. But in a division that hasn’t seen a repeat champ since 2004, they definitely have the inside track at the halfway mark.
