Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*Since the Longhorn Network is apparently working (eight years old and counting), why in the name of Jerry Jones aren’t we yet treated to a Cowboys Channel? Yeah, a 24/7 TV channel devoted to everything America’s Team. While you burst your brain trying to conjure a reason it wouldn’t work, allow me to rattle off some reasons it obviously would. Jason Garrett press conferences. Jones’ radio show. Player shows. Player profiles. Roundtables featuring Brad Sham and Bryan Broaddus. Coaches’ chalk talk. OTA coverage. Draft day war-room cam. Tours of The Star, AT&T Stadium and the owner’s new yacht. Live look-ins on meetings, practices, boarding the bus/plane. And, when in doubt, replays of Dallas Cowboys football games, past and present. Who wouldn’t wanna spend a cold winter weekend trapped inside watching the five Super Bowl wins back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back? If the Browns on Hard Knocks can be compelling, the Cowboys Channel – ATTV (America’s Team TV)? – would win an Emmy in principle alone.
*Back in November, I wrote that Mavs’ second-year point guard Dennis Smith Jr. looked “off.” Bad body language. Worse decisions. “Disinterested, trending toward disgruntled,” I said then. Now? Yup, sure enough. Smith, the No. 9 overall pick last season, is flat-out jealous of Luka Doncic. Envious of the rookie’s popularity and his priority to get the ball in crunch time, he wants out of Dallas. Head coach Rick Carlisle gave Smith the ball at the end of the game Dec. 28 in New Orleans. But with Luka in the backcourt as a decoy, Smith missed a floater in the lane that didn’t matter because he didn’t take it before the shot clock expired. Carlisle, who all season chastised reporters that suggested Smith and Doncic weren’t compatible because they both need the ball, can’t ignore the dysfunction any longer. With J.J. Barea out for the year with a torn Achilles, the Mavs need Smith more than ever. But here’s predicting his next great game will come wearing a different uniform.
*As dynamic and fun as he is, the love for Luka in the NBA All-Star fan voting is embarrassingly out of whack. With voting set to end Monday, the Mavs’ rookie is third overall. Third. That means he has more votes than players named James Harden, Steph Curry, Anthony Davis, Kevin Durant and Joel Embiid. Doncic is the first rookie since Michael Jordan to produce 25 points-5 rebounds-5 assists in four straight games, but he’s not by any stretch the third-best player in the league. He is, however, the third-most popular. Of course, fans are proving their ignorance by casting 450,000 votes for DeMarcus Cousins, who will play in his first game of the season … tonight.
*Prepare to cringe, Rangers fans and traditional baseball purists. Not only will your new Globe Life Park have a retractable roof, it might also come with – gasp! – artificial turf. The Rangers are apparently strongly leaning toward eschewing natural grass for a state-of-the-art fake turf made of crushed coconut shells. Keep an eye on Diamondbacks home games this season, as they are ripping up their grass in favor of the same, new B1K turf. If all goes well in Phoenix, Arlington will take another big step toward fake over real.
*Somewhere you will never catch me: The Dallas Safari Club Convention. This year’s perverted festival for humans that enjoy killing animals with guns is this weekend at the convention center. Here’s hoping that Hell is run by rhinos, elephants and lions. You know why.
*Cowboys defensive lineman David Irving is a petulant, immature dude who is wasting his chance at an NFL career by choosing drugs, performing only passive injury rehab and skipping mandatory meetings. Not exactly the ideal role model or spokesman, but don’t tell that to cheeseball Dallas attorney Ben Abbott. You’ve seen the atrocious TV ads, where Abbott is ridiculously attempting to have any sort of chemistry with Irving. But after what Irving has done – and isn’t doing – wouldn’t a savvy attorney cut the cord with an endorsement that is only hurting his business’ credibility? Irving, who missed games and practices this season because of suspension, an ankle injury, a child custody battle and mandated aftercare, didn’t play after Oct. 21. All I know about Abbott is that he is a horrible judge of character.
*Big announcement this week that the Cowboys and AT&T Stadium are teaming up with a huge entertainment festival highlighted by Sting, Kid Rock, Dennis Miller and … That’s as far as I got before I was totally distracted by the worst name in the history of concert tours: KAABOO. WTF? According to organizers, “KAABOO” is “a word that comes from whatever the hell we feel like yelling when we’re high on life and having fun.” Nawwwwww. R.I.P, Texxas Jam.
*Hot.
*Not.
*Question: Do you kick a player out of your Hall of Fame if it comes to light that, after his playing days, he forced a 4-year-old family relative to perform a sex act on him? If you’re the Rangers, you might need to prepare your answer. Closer John Wetteland, who retired from the team in ’97 as the club’s all-time saves leader, was arrested last week in Trophy Club for those disgusting charges. Allegations are that Wetteland forced the family member to perform similar acts on him two more times over a two-year period ending in 2004. At the time, he was a minor league coach in Texas’ farm system. Wetteland, who has four children, was divorced in 2015. Yuck. Just awful.
*Leave it to Donald Trump and his government shutdown to turn The White House into White Castle.
*Jerry’s hyperbole game is as strong as ever. 1994: “There are 500 coaches who could have won the Super Bowl with our team.” 2019: “If Jason Garrett had been on the market, he would’ve had five head coaching offers.” Oh-for-two.
*Sad news last week that the Dallas Morning News was laying off 20 writers and editors from its newsroom. Sad, and unnecessary. Why? Because the sappy explanation – the one about “fiscal responsibility” and “difficult but necessary decisions” – was penned by publisher Grant Moise, who in 2018 was paid a salary of $984,310. He’s doing a crappy job. If he wasn’t, he would’ve already cut his own pay. Lots of ways to make journalism better. Scrapping experienced writers in favor of cheaper, younger writers is not on the list. Content is king, and that paper – just like the Fort Worth Star-Telegram – is inevitably careening toward the ditch.
*Nike this week unveiled its $350 Adapt BB, a sneaker that automatically fits the form of your foot with the help of an App. Call me old school, but are shoelaces really that big of a nuisance? The TV remote control, now that was a valuable invention because it allowed me to not get up from the couch. But, I dunno, is getting out my phone, unlocking my phone, finding my App, unlocking my App and pushing buttons on my App to tighten my shoes really quicker and/or easier than just bending over and tying the darn things?
*The oldest debate in the history of ever is finally settled. Because the protein which makes egg shells is produced exclusively by hens, the chicken came first. Sorry, egg. Thoughts and prayers.
*Before you get all giddy at the release of next season’s college football Top 25 rankings in August, remember this: They don’t mean diddly squat. Among this year’s initial Top 10, three – Miami, Auburn and Wisconsin – finished unranked.
*Four words: Super Blood Wolf Moon. Sunday’s four-hour lunar eclipse will be the last one visible in the U.S. until … 2022. Oh. There was a time when that year seemed really far off. Like, no one would live that long. Now, it’s only like three years. Nonetheless, Super Blood Wolf Moon is a hoot to say. And, hopefully, to see.
*Saints over Rams. Chiefs over Patriots.
*This weekend? Saturday is for the first tennis tournament of the season, come rain, shine or 40-degree temps with 20 mph wind. Sunday is for NFL conference championship games, and thawing out from playing in the first tennis tournament of the season. As always, don’t be a stranger.