Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*Entertaining, but erroneous. Unfair. Down right wrong. The interference non-call against the Rams and the phantom roughing the passer on the Chiefs in last week’s NFL conference championship games left us with a diluted, tainted Super Bowl. Both egregious officiating mistakes greatly benefited teams – the Rams and Patriots – that did nothing on the plays to deserve the breaks. Got me to thinking about the worst post-season calls against the Cowboys. Didn’t take long, and I’ve got two of ’em that could’ve cost them championships: 1. Super Bowl V. The Colts scored only one touchdown in their 16-13 victory over the Cowboys, and it shouldn’t have counted. Johnny Unitas’ pass was initially tipped by receiver Ed Hinton, and deflected into the waiting arms of tight end John Mackey, who ran 75 yards for a touchdown. In 1970, it was illegal for a pass to be touched by one offensive player and then caught by another. Today’s instant replay would have reversed the play into an incompletion and – who knows? – maybe a Cowboys’ 13-9 win. 2. 1994 NFC Championship Game. The two-time defending champion Cowboys fell behind the 49ers, 21-0, before staging a furious rally. Down only 10 and driving in the fourth quarter, Troy Aikman threw a perfect pass to Michael Irvin inside San Francisco’s 5-yard line. A touchdown makes it 38-35 with six minutes remaining and … Irvin didn’t catch the ball, because a beaten Deion Sanders clearly, blatantly took his left arm and grabbed/shoved both of Irvin’s arms down before the ball arrived. Watching it again – yes – it was as horrible of a missed, non-interference call as the one against the Saints. Not only did the Cowboys not receive a first-and-goal, Barry Switzer bumped the referee arguing the no-call for a 15-yard penalty. End of drive. End of rally. End of hopes of a three-peat, which the following season would have turned into a four-peat. If you’ve assessed that I’m still not over it, you have judged correctly.
*Rick Carlisle shrugged it off. Mark Cuban explained it away as commonplace. But clearly the one Maverick that is bothered by Dennis Smith Jr. taking a six-game pout of absence is backcourt teammate Luka Doncic. “I don’t like it at all,” said Doncic, who went 0 of 8 on 3-pointers and tore his jersey in anger at halftime of Tuesday’s win over the Clippers. “It shouldn’t happen. I mean, it’s bad for the team, bad for the player, bad for everybody. So, I’m glad it’s over.” Without Smith, the Mavs play at the slowest pace in the league. They need him. But they can do without his jealousy, ego and sabbaticals.
*Michael Young received nine votes for the Baseball Hall of Fame. That’s nine too many. Great hitter. Good teammate. Belongs in the Rangers’ HOF for sure. But, come on, Cooperstown is reserved for the best of the best and the elite among the elite. Or at least it should be.
*The NFL’s overtime has always confused me. Why wouldn’t both teams get a possession? It’s just nonsensical. Imagine a baseball walk-off homer in the top of the 10th. Or a slam dunk off the tip-off that ends an NBA game. And never ever never should anything in sports – including and especially the first possession in an NFL overtime – be decided by a coin flip. It’s so important that it should be merit-based. Give it to the home team. The team with the most yards. Or, like the old Texas high school tiebreaker, award it based on penetrations inside the 20. Anything but a random, arbitrary, dissociative flip of the coin. We’re smarter than that.
*I’ll never get our fascination with Oscars nominations. They’re nothing more than recognition – not awards, but merely pats on the back – for quality work in extremely specialized contests. Imagine the Cowboys getting kudos for merely being nominated as having one of the NFL’s Top 5 third-down defenses.
*Why do NBA players “score” 17 points but “drop” 47? What’s the magical mark when merely scoring becomes an insulting dropping? 40? 50? Ahh, sports. You’re a silly mistress, aren’t you?
*When he was a 7-foot shot-blocker for the Atlanta Hawks in the ’70s-’80s, I always thought Wayne Rollins had the coolest nickname: “Tree”. But there’s nothing desirable about the current man making news with a similar moniker. That’s because “Tree Man” is Abul Bajandar, a 28-year-old Bangladeshi father that suffers from the rare genetic disease “epidermodysplasia verruciformis”. The condition results in so many huge lesions and warts on the man’s hands that they resemble bushes, even trees. He can’t eat, drink, shower, brush his teeth or hug his daughter. He’s already undergone 10 surgeries, but the growths always aggressively return. We all have trials and tribulations. Second mortgage. Third job. Tires that need rotating. But seeing the hand Bajandar has been dealt in life makes you feel fortunate. And makes you wonder the purpose of our creator intending and/or allowing it to happen.
*I was impressed when Luka recorded his first triple-double last Monday in Milwaukee. But then I remembered that Raymond Felton once turned the same trick in a Mavericks uniform. Same for Odibe McDowell hitting for the cycle for the Rangers and Kellen Moore throwing for 400-plus yards for the Cowboys. Meaningless. Statistical. Aberrations.
*Hot.
*Not.
*While the officiating “Cajun Dumbo” in New Orleans affected the Super Bowl, so did another human gaffe in Kansas City. When the Chiefs’ Dee Ford lined up offside late in the game, this was the result of the ensuing penalty: Rob Gronkowski’s volleyballed missed catch didn’t turn into Tom Brady’s third interception of the game with New England down 28-24 and only 54 seconds remaining. Chiefs’ defensive coordinator didn’t get to keep his job. The Patriots went to yet another Super Bowl. Without that penalty – which had ZERO to do with anything the Patriots did – Brady is an old quarterback that suffered his worst championship game performance and Patrick Mahomes is in the Super Bowl. Ahh, sports. You’re still a silly mistress, aren’t you?
*A creative, yet irrational Saints fan is suing the NFL to have it acknowledge its grave officiating error and replay the final two minutes of the NFC Championship Game. Part of the complaint is a “loss of enjoyment of life”. Imagine if that were legal grounds for a lawsuit. Just imagine the people you’d go after. Immediately.
*I respect that she’s one of the best athletes – much less one of the best tennis players – in American history. But here’s why I take glee at Serena Williams losing: Because she’s an entitled diva convinced she’s above the rules. Serena has been playing tennis professionally for almost 25 years. She’s played almost 1,000 matches. In tennis, shots from an opponent that hit the top of the net and trickle over are unretrievable, unlucky. Rare, but part of the game. Usually happens to each player at least once per match. It’s probably happened to Serena – and for Serena – hundreds and hundreds of times. When it’s in your favor, you politely hold up your racket to say to your opponent, “Sorry, that was more luck than skill.” When it happens against you, you take a deep breath and make a mental note that the tennis gods owe you one. But not Serena. At the Australian Open this week her opponent hit a net-chord winner and Serena glared across the net and yelled “I mean, that’s not FAIR!” She threatens linespeople. She disrespects chair umpires. She thinks she shouldn’t be subjected to the fundamental misfortunes of the game like every other player that’s ever hit a ball. Here’s hoping she never wins another Grand Slam title. P.S. I’m beyond tired of hearing about her baby.
*One of the worst aspects of America is the way we don’t respect our elders. And I’m not just saying that because I will turn 55 next summer. We hide our old folks. Shun them. In some instances, even mock them with a smirk.
*Super Bowl appearances: Tom Brady 9. Dallas Cowboys 8.
*If you watched the Netflix documentary Fyre and can’t relate, be happy. I’ve worked with people exactly like main character Billy McFarland. They are good salesman, but bad humans. They lie, cheat and exploit. Their entire lives are Ponzi schemes, merely a series of shuffled scams to bilk money from one group in order to pay off another that was previously bilked. The sad thing? They are, at times – temporarily – cash rich, but eternally morally bankrupt.
*Not sure what Cole Beasley is bitchin’ about. The free-agent receiver says the Cowboys’ front office pushes who gets the ball. But he got almost twice as many catches and yards as in 2017. He’s no Julian Edelman. And, sorry, he’s not a better option than Ezekiel Elliott or Amari Cooper.
*If you’re like me and up before the sun these days, you’ve probably noticed the two bright stars close together in the eastern sky. Those are planets, better known as Venus (the bigger, brighter one) and Jupiter. Funny that I say “close”, because although the planets appear in our sky to be merely inches apart, in reality they are separated by 416 million miles. This part boggles my mind, especially before 6 a.m.: Jupiter looks like a tiny, twinkling dot. But it’s actually a giant mass of swirling gas and vapors, so big that 1,321 Earths could fit inside it.
*In 2015, Darren McFadden rushed for 1,089 yards for the Cowboys. His production and durability led me to urge Dallas to pass on Zeke and instead draft pass-rusher Joey Bosa. I was wrong. Three years later Elliott is a two-time NFL rushing champ and McFadden is unemployed, getting arrested for DWI after falling asleep in the drive-through line at a Whataburger in McKinney. Good intentions, I guess.
*Idea that I’m patenting, or perhaps taking to Shark Tank: A hard-core, no-nonsense gym with guaranteed results. That’s right, guar-onn-teed. At my gym, you’re connected to electroshock gizmos while you work out. Trainer wants you to do 12 reps and you tap out at 9? Bzzzz! Cardio class requires 60 seconds of Burpees and you stop for water at 52 seconds? Bzzzz! It’s not debilitating, permanent pain. Just enough to get your attention, and get you moving. Amazing how members would suddenly learn to push themselves through fatigue, both mental or physical. The mind controls the body, so let’s just give it some, um, motivation. Name of the joint: Shock Strength. Who’s in?
*Research finding that made me very uncomfortable. In 1992 Aikman had his best season and made the Pro Bowl. In 2018 Dak Prescott had a mediocre season and made the Pro Bowl. Their stats? Aikman, 26, completed 64 percent of his passes for 3,445 yards, 23 touchdowns and 14 interceptions. Prescott, 25, completed 68 percent of his passes for 3,885 yards, 22 touchdowns and eight interceptions.
*The disconnect between women (at least mine) and thermostats is baffling. A thermostat, of course, is designed to regulate temperature. Set it in the winter at, for example, 72 degrees and it will automatically control your house’s heating system to maintain that temperature. The thermostat in your house is like the cruise control for your car. Set it and forget it. Regardless of hills or wind chills, the temp/speed stays the same. Simple, right? Wrong. This is where Sybil gets inexplicably lost. “Yeah, but it’s in the 30s this morning!” she illogically reasons. “We need to turn the heat up!!” I try to tell her that our house will remain at 72. “But that really cold air will seep through our windows and it won’t stay 72!” I try to tell her that the thermostat is equipped with a thermometer, and when that “really cold air” begins seeping in it will sense it and … Oh, forget it. Pick your battles. And strip to your boxers.
*This weekend? Friday let’s go see Weathers at Club Dada in Deep Ellum. SaturdayNightSundayMorning is for the Australian Open men’s final. Sunday will be 65 and sunny. Get out there and … what else you gonna do? Watch the Pro Bowl? Riiiight. As always, don’t be a stranger.