Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
• My problem with the Cowboys in general and Jason Garrett in specific: They want so badly to believe they are the ’90s Cowboys and they are nowhere near the ’90s Cowboys. Eight men in the box was no problem back then. Troy Aikman would hand off to Emmitt Smith and he’d plow for 4-plus yards. But now? With six blockers against seven defenders at the line of scrimmage, Dak Prescott hands off to Zeke Elliott who plows ahead for less than 3-ish yards. Especially on first down. I get that top draft picks were used on offensive linemen and Dak is a bus driver and Zeke has led the NFL in rushing, but … bottom line: The Cowboys think they are much better than they actually are. The head coach is convinced his team’s failure (or success) is solely dependent upon “execution” and not “philosophy.” That’s a fatally flawed misconception.
• Annual NBA.com general managers’ survey is out and, as usual, Mavs head coach Rick Carlisle got the most votes for “best in-game adjustments.” Luka Doncic tied for second-most votes with Anthony Davis for “player you’d most want to start a franchise with.” No. 1: Giannis. With the best on-the-fly coach, second-best young star and Kristaps Porzingis, you’d think the Mavs would at least make the playoffs. Sadly, they won’t. Las Vegas currently has their title odds at 70/1, 16th-best. Or 14th-worst.
• I don’t normally yell at kids to get off my lawn, but I am definitely old-mannish when it comes to the preposterous flood of analytics polluting our sports these days. Case in point: A geek was on Twitter this week brandishing his next-level information that Zeke had slowed down running from his rookie season by – not kidding – .08 of a mph. Pretty detailed, right? Same guy, however, spelled Zeke’s last name “Elliot”. If you want me to pay close attention to your intricate details, first YOU pay attention to your intricate details. Not all analytics are worthless. The fact that Dak has a 122.0 quarterback rating in a clean pocket and a league-worst 61.1 when pressured is telling that he’s not yet an elite decision-maker. But some analytics are indeed useless. Telling me the Yankees had a baseball-best 91.9 mph exit velocity against four-seam fastballs is just insane. If you regurgitated that stat at the bar, don’t bother buying me a beer.
• Hold on just a cotton-pickin’ minute. I know the world has gone completely nuts when Louis Vuitton decides to build its manufacturing plant in Keene. Keene! I say this as a proud stepson of Johnson County: The first Louis Vuitton ever spotted in Keene will be the first purse off the assembly line.
• Crazy stat: In six games, the Cowboys have yet to start a single possession on the opponent’s side of the 50. Without the defense creating turnovers, there are no short fields and zero cheap points.
• Eff Fall. Why? Because I don’t like layering clothes … the smell of musty heaters … getting shocked … dry skin … 4:36 p.m. sunsets … tire air-pressure sensors going haywire … physical lethargy … or Fall.
• Say a prayer for former Cowboys mega-hustler Bill Bates. I hear he’s starting to suffer the effects of concussion-related dementia. Only 58, his special teams’ kamikaze style now prevents him from consistently rattling off the names of his five children. Very sad.
• Hot.
• Not.
• Tex Schramm, the founding father of instant replay, must be rolling over in his grave. I know, I know. Our dads complained about the clothes-line tackle and crowd noise and bitching about referees is as old as football. But … NFL officiating is at an epidemic level. Millions of customers are unhappy with the results of a system which holds a third party wholly unaccountable for its repeated mistakes. The offensive pass interference on the Cowboys’ Cedric Wilson. The phantom penalties on the Lions Monday night. Bad calls cost games. They lose jobs. They affect livelihoods. Given an uproar from customers about an inferior product, most companies would make big changes in a big hurry. The NFL, it seems, doesn’t care. Well, does it?
• Did the Gradient App Celebrity Lookalike thingy – on somebody else’s phone, I ain’t no fool – and top three matches were Bill Gates, Denzel Washington and Mark Ruffalo. Sorry, since my top two weren’t Pat Green and Kiefer Sutherland it has zero credibility.
• Amazing that boxer Errol Spence Jr. was involved in that violent rollover crash – sans seatbelt – and not only survived, but merely suffered facial injuries and is expected to box again. Luck is the most underrated aspect of life.
• After an off-season heart attack, good to see (and hear) Brad Davis back on Mavericks radio broadcasts. That’s his retired No. 15 hanging in the rafters of AAC, by the way.
• Not making it to the State Fair this year, for the same reason(s) I stopped making it to Six Flags years ago. I’m either getting old, or wise, or both.
• How big is Sunday night’s Cowboys-Eagles game? 4-3 teams make the playoffs 50% of the time; 3-4 only 18%. Both are 3-3.
• This weekend? Friday, a little golf down at Thorntree Country Club in Desoto. Saturday, it’s rise-’n-shine for some rucking in the form of a brisk 10-mile walk around White Rock Lake (with a 30-pound backpack). Sunday, let’s rest up for Cowboys-Eagles when the sun sets. As always, don’t be a stranger.
