Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
*Thanks to owner Jerry Jones’ post-free agency/draft assessment this week, now we know what it’ll take for the Cowboys’ 2019 season to be a success and for Jason Garrett to keep his job. For the first time since 1995, they’ll have to (at least) play in the NFC Conference Championship Game. Says Jones, “There is no tangible reason we shouldn’t expect to be better than we were last year.” The Cowboys were 10-6, captured the NFC East and won a playoff game last season. Going forward, that’s not good enough.
*Props to Stars’ coach Jim Montgomery for fixing it when it was indeed broken. Before Wednesday night’s Game 4 he shifted his top lines, splitting up Jamie Benn, Tyler Seguin and Alexander Radulov. Akin to a baseball manager shaking up his lineup in the middle of a postseason series his team trailed only 2-1, the tweaks resulted in four goals and a crucial win that sends the series back to St. Louis tied for Game 5. While personnel is mostly the product of general managers and players at the pro level have usually already maxed their potential, in-game adjustments are solely on the head coach and Montgomery nailed this one.
*As the Rangers dip below .500 and settle into their true identity, Rougned Odor is again wildly chasing pitches out of the strike zone and they are yet again flailing to find a consistent closer. Most of us figured Jose Leclerc would be one of the bright spots in an otherwise dull season. But after a month he’s lost his job. The Rangers signed him to a contract extension in March, and he’s rewarded them with two blown saves and a hideous 8.44 ERA. Unfortunately, this is nothing new for a team that hasn’t had a dependable closer in going on six years. Neftali Feliz was dominant until you-know-what wrecked him in you-know-when, and Joe Nathan had some consistent moments in 2012-13, but since then it’s been a horror show. Joakim Soria. Shawn Tolleson. Sam Dyson. Alex Claudio. Keone Kela and now Leclerc.
*As I watch Kevin Durant again dominate the NBA Playoffs – a 50-point game in Round 1 and a combined 64 in the Warriors’ first two wins over the Rockets – I can’t help but be eternally flabbergasted that he didn’t lead Texas to the championship, or championship game, or Final Four, or Elite Eight, or Sweet Sixteen, or even a Big 12 championship. In 2007 in Austin, Durant was the star. National Player of the Year as a freshman, averaging 26 points and 11 rebounds. But despite having Durant and future NBA player D.J. Augustin on the roster, coach Rick Barnes’ team woefully underachieved. 25-10. Finished third in the Big 12. Lost the conference tournament title game. And, in the second round of the NCAA Tournament, was upset by Southern Cal by 19 points. As a pro, Durant has won everything: NBA championships, MVPs, Finals MVPs, scoring titles and Olympic gold medals. But at Texas, his one-and-done remains a perplexing disappointment.
*It’s annually billed as the “most exciting two minutes in sports,” but I’ve been long underwhelmed by the Kentucky Derby. Why? Because credit in the sport is sorely misguided to the horses instead of the humans. Jockeys are the real talent, but they’re regarded only a smidge above saddles. To celebrate the horse is as silly as hailing Lance Armstrong’s bike or Dale Earnhardt’s car or even Roger Federer’s racket. I know we love animals in this country, but the horses are merely big, beautiful pieces of athletic equipment in an overrated race.
*Ahead of next week’s Byron Nelson classic, George Dubya Bush is hosting wounded U.S. service members in the Warrior Open golf tournament at Trinity Forest Golf Club. Our current President, meanwhile, continues to lower standards at the highest levels. I get – I guess? – serving fast food to championship teams during the government shutdown, but now that we’re back in business why did Donald Trump roll out McCrap during the Baylor Lady Bears’ visit last week? Does he think it’s cute? Clever? Or actually food fit for elite athletes? Something tells me Tiger Woods will eat something a little more nutritious when he visits Trump Monday to receive his medal.
*How important is hockey in DFW? Stars-Blues Game 4 earned a 3.3 rating in the Metroplex. Not bad, until you compare it to 11.5 in St. Louis. The Stars’ bandwagon is filling up, but it’s still an extremely small vehicle.
*Leave it a sports bettor to break the house. Las Vegas gambler James Holzhauer’s historic run on Jeopardy! continues, as he won his 18th consecutive episode this week. I’m not suggesting that the show’s producers are “orchestrating” this streak, but I am suggesting that without this streak I – or no one else – would be writing about Jeopardy!.
*The Giants think Eli Manning can still play and that Daniel Jones can someday play. The Redskins are banking on Dwayne Haskins. And the Eagles are now without Nick Foles. Suddenly, Dak Prescott is the best quarterback in the NFC East. Speaking of Haskins, he’ll wear No. 7 for the ’Skins. Figured that number would forever belong to Joe Theismann, who won a Super Bowl and an MVP. Imagine if the Cowboys had given No. 8 or 12 to Dak?
*A sandwich featuring a chicken breast is called a chicken sandwich. Why, then, isn’t a sandwich featuring a beef patty called a cow sandwich?
*Last week I bemoaned the atrocities – and continued existence – of Wells Fargo, which has been fined billions for charging customers for insurance they never ordered and opening bank accounts in customers’ names without authorization. But just as I’m bemused that anyone would keep their money in that bank, I look up to see Wells Fargo still forging relationships with sports. The company is a major player – via sponsored stat vignettes – on televised NBA Playoff games. And this week’s stop on the PGA Tour? Sure enough, the Wells Fargo Championship. Character doesn’t matter and accountability long left the station. Sickening.
*ESPN’s Monday Night Football is replacing Jason Witten by not replacing Jason Witten. Instead, it’s flicking its Booger to the booth. McFarland will join nauseatingly loquacious play-by-play voice Joe Tessitore for the show’s 50th season. But, in all honesty, don’t we get worked up over announcers for no reason? Been watching games for almost 50 years and I can guarantee I’ve never watched – or not watched – because of the announcers.
*You know how friends cancel plans or you always have no-shows to your parties? Here’s a soiree that folks always seem to be able to clear their schedules for: An NFL Draft party hosted by a player that’s going to be drafted. No “babysitter bailed” or “dog ate my homework” here. Those living rooms with the player sitting by the phone are always cramped, crowded events, with everyone literally trying to glom onto an imminent millionaire. What will that same living room look like in 20 years when the career is over, the money is gone and the CTE takes hold?
*Stars are two wins from advancing past the second round, something a DFW sports team hasn’t accomplished since the Rangers in 2011.
*Another week, another sign that print journalism is going the way of pay phones, full-service gas stations and stewardesses. ESPN The Magazine will be shuttered after its September issue, and the St. Louis Post-Dispatch laid off its entire copy desk. Good sports journalism will survive, just in a form that those of us that grew up reading newspapers never imagined.
*I’m not a big TV guy, but a couple of thoughts: VEEP is the funniest show going. Barry is the most underrated show going. And despite my #FOMO at never seeing one episode and being clueless about all the Game of Thrones viral chatter, it’s too far gone. Which brings us to the Netflix show, The Push. I’m not going to spoil it, but I’m the skeptical, inquisitive type with these pressing post-watch questions: Did they never check his pulse? In light of what happened to him, how did the guy just calmly sit there smoking a cigarette and taking in a rooftop view? And, lastly, murder?! They’d commit murder for that motivation? C’monnnnnnn! The show is intriguing and all, but I’m not buying it. It’s fake. File it under “scripted reality.” Which these days is everything, except sports.
*Played in a charity golf tournament this week at Heritage Ranch Country Club in Fairview. Four-player scramble. One mulligan per player. You know the drill. The purported winning score? 19-under. That’s 17 birdies, an eagle and nary a misstep. Sorry, no way. I’d actually pay for a video of that round, because I predict there were some charitable, um, shenanigans in play.
*Wait, why do men have nipples?
*Hate to be the bearer of more bad Rangers pitching news, but … Owen White, their No. 2 draft pick in 2018, is having Tommy John surgery. Another top pick from that draft, pitcher Mason Englert, already had the procedure. Oh, and in case you missed it, castoff Martin Perez is off to a 4-0 start with a 3.41 ERA in Minnesota.
*From the Dept. of Nope, Everything Does NOT Happen For A Reason: Michigan mom Antoinette Ousley won $78,045 in the state’s lottery by playing the numbers associated with her two daughters’ birthdays … even though she forgot one of their birthdays. One of the daughters had a recent birthday, but Mom won the prize by playing 19 instead of 20. Sometimes, more than we’d like to admit, dumb luck trumps pristine planning or divine intervention.
*Dead ’n Gone: Roger Emrich. The jovial voice of the Cowboys at AT&T Stadium passed away last week at 62. I worked with Rog at 105.3 The Fan. Sports media guys – guilty – are filled with irrationally inflated egos, but he produced a class career with humility and professionalism. I hope to one day be as happy as Rog seemed to be every day. RIP.
*This weekend? A drinko (or two, or more) on Cinco, of course. But maybe one at The Rustic Saturday afternoon? As always, don’t be a stranger.
