Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
- Welcome to 2019, where our leaders want us to believe that directing a minority to “go back where you came from” isn’t offensive but somehow displaying “’Horns down” is. Big 12 Conference coordinator of officials Greg Burks said at this week’s Media Days at AT&T Stadium that players flashing the upside down version of Texas’ famed “Hook ‘em” hand sign will be penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct if “it’s prolonged to bring attention to the individual rather than the team.” I get that we’re legislating superfluous violence out of football. But this is another step toward also removing the fun. If you’re truly offended by “’Horns down,” I suggest you shouldn’t be anywhere near a football stadium on fall Saturdays. May I recommend perhaps a rubber room void of corners and windows and feelings?
- Ezekiel Elliott won’t miss a day of Cowboys training camp, which commences next week in California. The threat to hold out in hopes of forcing a new contract is merely posturing from his agent. Zeke not only has two years left on his rookie contract; he has zero public-relations wiggle room remaining in the wake of meeting with NFL commish Roger Goodell for yet another brush with the law.
- Mark Cuban became a billionaire by turning your laptop into a radio, but the more you watch his moves and listen to his explanations as Mavs owner the more you’re inclined to think his “brilliance” was a one-hit wonder. Case in point: He appeared on SiriusXM’s NBA Radio last week to explain Dallas’ free-agent strategy that, to us sane folks, appears to be a total whiff: “Now instead of having one super team that everybody is trying to beat, we’ve got a bunch of super teams. Nellie used to call it ‘corporate knowledge,’ that the longer you keep a team together the better they know how to play with each other. So there’s value there.” So, let me get this straight: When Cuban didn’t re-sign Tyson Chandler and J.J. Barea, etc., he was saving salary cap room to try to land a free agent to become a super team. But now, after merely re-signing Kristaps Porzingis and existing role players it’s based on the shrewd strategy of “corporate knowledge”? It’s hypocritical, and it’s insulting. The Mavs traded leading scorer Harrison Barnes to help clear $30 million of cap room. They boasted about “splitting aces” and being aggressive this summer. But in the wake of failing to land even a Tier B player, the message to fans is that they’ve retained the core of a team that won 57 games the last two seasons, third-fewest in the West.
- Funny how people are freaked out now that they’ve learned the viral FaceApp is owned by Russians and powered by a user agreement that gives it power to use all your phone’s photos at its discretion. But I got news for the 100 million Americans now frantically deleting the app to protect their information: It’s too late. If there’s one thing we learned from the Facebook/Cambridge Analytica scandal, it’s that even when you’re not using your phone, your phone is using you.
- Willie Calhoun is better, but certainly not above being sent down. The guy who has 26 hits and 19 strikeouts in 26 games said he was “speechless” at the Rangers’ decision to option him back to Triple-A Nashville to make room for the return of All-Star Hunter Pence. Sorry, but Calhoun is a lefty-bat outfielder and the Rangers have several that do what he does better. That said, it’s time for Nomar Mazara to elevate his performance.
- Sports, for the win. In their first home game since the sudden death of teammate Tyler Skaggs, the Angels scored seven runs in the first inning, won 13-0 and pitched a combined no-hitter. My goose bumps had goose bumps.
- I think I could win at least one point against Serena Williams in a match, and I know I could beat David Duval on No. 7 at The British Open’s Royal Portrush. Duval, former Open champ and No. 1 player in the world, made a 14 on the hole on Thursday by losing two balls and getting penalized for playing the wrong ball. The hole is a 590-yard Par 5 with gnarly gorse and evil sand traps. But, yeah, I could at least make a 13.
- Moved into our new house near White Rock Lake in 2017. We were satisfied with our monthly payment, and signed a million documents stating so. In 2018, out of the blue, we get a notice of an “escrow shortage” of $2,500 and our payment rises $339 per month. Grumble, but okay. Change-of-ownership. Re-assessment. Property tax fluctuations. I get it. But this week comes another “escrow shortage” notice, this one to the tune of another $7,000 with a payment increase of $620 per month. Bottom line: We are now asked to pay $1,000 more per month … for the same exact house. More frustrating: Experienced realtors just shrug at the all-too-common story. Only solution is to take the time next year to challenge the city’s appraisal of my home.
- Where are they now? Clint Stoerner, who started two games at quarterback for the Cowboys in 2001, just landed an afternoon-drive radio show on Houston’s legendary SportsRadio 610.
- I covered Wimbledon for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram in 2004. The 23-year-old Roger Federer beat Andy Roddick, and Serena Williams was upset by an unknown 17-year-old named Maria Sharapova. Considering all I’ve been through since then – divorce, address change, multiple career moves – it’s dumbfounding that in 2019 Federer and Serena – both at 37 – were still in the finals on the grass. Novak Djokovic’s pulsating fifth-set tiebreaker win over Federer was the third most-watched tennis match in ESPN history.
- Near my house is a, um, club(?) called “Bad Axe.” Inside, it’s a shooting range, only using – yep – axes. I’m flummoxed that there is a market for such a place, as I can’t recall the last time – or any time – I felt the urge to blow off steam by grabbing the handle of an axe and flinging it. But the place seems relatively busy, and I’m pretty sure membership requires a dirty beard.
- The Cowboys are opening a fitness center near the new AT&T Discovery District near downtown Dallas. Begs the question for the team that has almost everything: How in the world do the Dallas Cowboys not have their own TV network?
- This weekend? Another tennis tournament, this time in Cowtown. Sunday it’s off to Lake Ray Hubbard. As always, don’t be a stranger.
