Whitt’s End 7.5.19

   Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

•  At the risk of beating a dead, white elephant … THIS. I took a lot of grief for that column back in February, but I stand by it. And now, in the wake of the Mavericks adding to their lousy legacy of crappy Caucasians by signing 7-foot-3 novelty act Boban Marjanovic, I stand by it taller than ever. I know “Bobi” is a cute story. Serbian 30-year-old with a great sense of humor that likes to dance and eat Tex-Mex and who played a villain in a John Wick movie. But, um, he can’t play. With a wingspan of 7-8, he can dunk on his tiptoes. Great. But in four seasons he’s started only 17 games and never averaged more than 10 minutes or eight points. With still $20 million of salary cap space, the Mavs seriously went after Boban instead of DeMarcus Cousins?! In a league trending small, the Mavs now have the two tallest players in the league in Boban and 7-3 Kristaps Porzingis. Here’s hoping they’re not both white elephant gifts.

•  Injured Hunter Pence won’t play in the MLB All-Star Game, but Ezekiel Elliott won’t be suspended by the NFL. So … call it a push? The NBA is known for its “makeup calls,” but in excusing Zeke’s pushing of a Las Vegas security guard did NFL commish Roger Goodell admit a mistake in giving the running back six games in 2017? Smells fishy, eh?

•  After further review, Joey Gallo isn’t, in fact, a one-trick pony. He’s more patient this season. He’s slapping singles to compliment his mammoth homers. And he’s playing a pretty decent center field. He’s a deserving All-Star, the first drafted-and-developed by the Rangers since Ian Kinsler in 2012.

•  Regarding Nike’s controversial yanking of its “Betsy Ross” flag shoe: It appears that several white supremacist groups – including the notorious “Proud Boys” – have adopted that version of our flag. I had no idea. Apparently neither did Nike. From that perspective, the shoe in no way should be conflated as condoning the groups’ hateful belief system. On the other hand, I’m neither black nor the ancestor of slaves, so my opinion on the topic doesn’t mean a hill of beans. Nike decided not to profit off a symbol that some vile groups have wrapped themselves in. Good on them.

•  Call me crazy, but I’ve never understood the physics of fireworks. They always appear to be shooting toward me, flames and flares and colors arcing in my direction. I kinda want to see the backside of a firework, even though I know that’s … impossible?

• Hot.

•  Not.

•  Totally dismayed by the Mavs’ free-agency whiff. With $30 million of ammo and GM Donnie Nelson promising to “split aces” and be aggressive, they didn’t get Kemba Walker or Goran Dragic or Clint Capela or Patrick Beverly or Derrick Favors or Malcolm Brogdon. What they got was the other Curry, Boban and the re-signing of their own players. And, no, Danny Green doesn’t take the Mavs to another level. Another summer bummer.

•   Had the pleasure of being at iconic Dallas chef Kent Rathbun’s house this week. As expected, it’s a dazzling place featuring a kitchen with three ovens and a ladder. But the most interesting part of my visit was learning Rathbun’s version of coffee. He is absolutely addicted to the unsweetened tea from Eatzi’s, to the tune of five big styrofoam cups per day.

•  In the history of baseball – which they’ve been playing and keeping stats for since 1881 – there have been only nine players that have 250-plus at-bats with an average below .190 entering the the All-Star break. Rougned Odor – .189 on 249 – is seriously flirting with becoming about No. 10. Altogether now … Yeah, but he cold-cocked that Blue Jay!!

•  In the end, us humans are merely flies at the picnic, just randomly landing on whatever looks good, but only until we spot something that looks better. Case in point: Remember like 10 minutes ago when all the rage was “craft beer”? That’s so yesterday’s fad, replaced by “hard seltzer.” I bet at your Fourth of July BBQ someone was drinking White Claw or something close to it. Right?

•  Things to do next time you begin to panic amidst a Facebook/Instagram shutdown: Take a deep breath, and listen to a podcast. May I recommend this one, hosted by the good, goofy folks at Press Box DFW?

•  This weekend? Friday golf. Saturday pool party in the burgeoning outskirts of Lucas. Sunday sounds like a rare, good time to watch some women’s soccer. Monday I’ll be in mourning, for turning the age that Michael Jordan scored in his fifth game back from baseball with the Bulls in 1995: 55. As always, don’t be a stranger.