Whitt’s End 9.20.19

   Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …

•  With his elevation and his position’s attrition, it’s time to think the unthinkable: Dak Prescott is a Top 6 quarterback in the NFL. For Week 3, anyway. Prescott has improved drastically. In his ball-handling. Pocket awareness. Better weight transfer. More fluid throwing motion. Accuracy. The works. But what has allowed him to cut in near the front of the line is the deterioration of his peers. With Andrew Luck retired, Eli Manning benched and guys like Cam Newton, Ben Roethlisberger and Drew Brees injured, the quarterback position is dramatically diluted. There are 32 quarterbacks in the NFL, and this week I’d like to have Dak starting for my team over 27 of them. Only Patrick Mahomes, Tom Brady, Russell Wilson, Philip Rivers and Aaron Rodgers are clearly better than Dak. If I’m his agent, he doesn’t take another snap before signing a new contract. Oh, wait, check that. After he pads his stats against the putrid Dolphins, then he doesn’t take another snap before signing a new contract.

•  I’m a decent dude. Hold the door open for strangers. Recycle. Sponsored a Make-A-Wish. But someone somewhere has it in for me. As in, all my life I’ve been cursed by theft. We’ve all had stuff stolen I’m sure. But on Tuesday night I was shopping at Dick’s Sporting Goods in North Dallas on the Tollway, a couple of blocks north of the posh Galleria. Not a bad neighborhood by any means. But when I opened the hatch of my SUV, I was presented with a million shards of broken glass where my computer bag once was. The ol’ smash-’n-dash. Happened at 8 p.m., with my Jeep parked right by the front door. It happens. But to me, it happens, then happens again, then happens some more. Not that I’m (overly) complaining. I have a good career, great friends and a life I love. But this litany of losing my belongings seems, I don’t know, a tad excessive? I’ve had stolen: Bicycle from my garage. Radar detector from my car. Cell phone from Duke’s Roadhouse in Plano. Luggage from DFW Airport. Luggage/cell phone airport in Cancun. Video camera/cash in Grand Cayman. Car from the valet at an Austin hotel. And now four – 4 – laptops: from my car at Chili’s in Duncanville in 1987, a makeshift press room at the Anatole Hotel before the Cowboys-49ers 1993 NFC Championship Game, my Las Vegas hotel room in 2007 and, now, Dick’s. None of the four incidents were my fault (each occurred inside a locked compartment), but I am definitely the common denominator. Enough already.

•  Refreshing that TCU-SMU has some juice again. And good that the spotlight returns to the Iron Skillet, a “trophy” that has long – and undeservedly – been overshadowed by spoils like The Axe and The Golden Boot. Shane Buechele has been resurrected in the Mustangs’ offense and TCU dominated a Big Ten team on the road. Saturday night in Fort Worth matters. Big time.

•  Because he was a sub-par player with an iffy attitude, the Cowboys’ former No. 1 draft pick became a … street Taco. Charlton, drafted 28^th overall in 2017, couldn’t win a job and Dallas is convinced that free agent signing Robert Quinn is considerably better. Charlton tweeted “Free me!” this week, so the Cowboys did. The pick was a disaster. Taco played in only 27 games, fewest by a Cowboys No. 1 since 1986 and Mike Sherrard, whose career was cut short by multiple leg injuries. The Cowboys hit big on defensive ends DeMarcus Ware and DeMarcus Lawrence, but they’ve also wildly swung and missed on pathetic pass-rushers such as Ebenezer Ekuban, Kavika Pittman and now Taco. Ready to be nauseous? T.J. Watt, selected two spots behind Taco by the Steelers, has started all but one game in three seasons, made a Pro Bowl and has 21 sacks. Taco is the worst Cowboys draft pick since Bill Parcells took Bobby Carpenter.

•  Having lost five in a row, the Rangers may be going out with a whimper. But, still, even if they lost their final nine games they would lose only 88 for the season. Nobody will be talking records next week when they host the Red Sox and then Yankees for the final two series at Globe Life Park. Should be fun.

•  I’m not as much bothered by the ridiculousness of this weekend’s “Storm Area 51” as I am by the event’s lame nickname: “Alienstock.” Combined with “__gate”, did we simply run out of creativity in the late 1960s?

•  Hot.

•  Not. 

•  I know the Dolphins suck and the Cowboys have looked like 16-0 Super Bowl champs. But a 23-point favorite? In the NFL? That gaudy of a spread hasn’t been posted by Las Vegas wise guys since the 1987 strike season when some vets crossed the picket line. Buyer beware: The last 33 NFL teams to be favored by 17-plus points are only 11-22 against the spread.

•  Regarding stolen laptop: Bought a new one and recouped some of my writing from “the cloud,” whatever it is. But when I installed Google Chrome on new computer it saved my bookmarks from … 2014. Help. Anyone?

•  Circle of life? When the Panthers play the Cardinals Sunday in Arizona, the opposing quarterbacks will be Kyle Allen and Kyler Murray. Sound familiar, Aggies fans? Both began their college career at A&M, wound up transferring and costing Kevin Sumlin his job. Sumlin, of course, is now the head coach at the University of Arizona.

•  According to a new study backed by the U.S. Geological Survey Department, bird populations in the United States and Canada have dropped by 29% since 1970, signifying 2.9 billion birds lost in almost 50 years. Color me skeptical, but bird-counting just can’t be an exact science. Can it?

•  Cowboys’ offense is averaging 484 yards per game, most since the days of Tony Dorsett’s speed and Roger Staubach’s passes to Drew Pearson in 1978.

•  Gunmaker Colt says it is suspending its production of rifles for the civilian market, including the popular AR-15. Small steps.

•  Starting the season 3-0 is nice and all, but it hardly guarantees a playoff spot. Just ask the 2008 Cowboys, who won their first three games but went 9-7 and missed the playoffs. That team closed Texas Stadium with an ugly loss to the Ravens, then face-planted in a do-or-die finale against the Eagles, 44-6.

•  This weekend? Saturday let’s do the 13-mile, 26-obstacle Tough Mudder in Midlothian. Sunday let’s watch Cowboys-Dolphins while wondering why in the heck we attempted to do a 13-mile, 26-obstacle Tough Mudder. As always, don’t be a stranger.