Whether you’re at the end of your coffee, your day, your week or even your rope, welcome to Whitt’s End …
• For his sake, I’m happy that Ezekiel Elliott’s contract update didn’t end with him leaving town. Being an ex-Cowboy worked out horribly for running backs named Duane Thomas (Redskins), Calvin Hill (Redskins, Browns), Tony Dorsett (Broncos), Herschel Walker (Vikings, Eagles, Giants) and Emmitt Smith (Cardinals), who each endured glaringly diminished stats in their new uniforms. Thomas led the NFL with 11 rushing touchdowns and won a Super Bowl in Dallas, then had only five scores in two seasons in Washington. Hill produced two 1,000-yard seasons in Dallas, before never surpassing 300 in Washington and Cleveland. Hall of Famer Dorsett rushed for 12,000 yards in Dallas and only 700 in Denver. Walker made his only two Pro Bowls as a Cowboy. Smith had only 11 of his record 164 rushing touchdowns in Phoenix. The grass ain’t always greener, Zeke.
• Those of us that have covered Jerry Jones since 1989 are fully aware that Wednesday’s early-morning signing of Zeke was motivated by the owner’s appearance at the New York Stock Exchange and ensuing slew of New York media appearances. No way Jerry was gonna be in the brightest lights of the biggest city without being able to boast big news. That’s why he’s a billionaire master marketer. (By the way, I told you last week right here that – because he learned from Emmitt’s 1993 holdout – there was NO way Jerry wouldn’t have Zeke signed by opening day.)
• Other than following Rougned Odor’s historically inept season (last I checked: 87 hits/154 strikeouts), I’ve kinda lost interest in our Rangers. But something caught my eye last week: A shutout of the Yankees. New York had not been blanked in 220 games, second-longest streak in MLB history. And the 7-0 win, authored by Mike Minor, was the Rangers’ largest shutout win over the Bronx Bombers since Kevin Brown silenced them in 1993.
• With his six-year, $90 million contract extension, Zeke is now the highest-paid running back in NFL history. The money isn’t only baffling to you and me, but also former players. Had a fascinating chat this week with former Cowboy Everson Walls. He received a $1,500 signing bonus to attend training camp in 1981 and made $37,000 his second year in the league – after leading the NFL in interceptions as a rookie.
• Familiar faces in pedestrian places: How did Mavericks owner Mark Cuban spend Labor Day? Playing pick-up hoops with the commoners at Lifetime Fitness on Mockingbird Lane in Dallas. And what does Kyler Murray’s girlfriend do now that the Cardinals quarterback is worth $35 million? She is a hairdresser in Fairview. Yep, still.
• Hot.
• Not.
• Sign that Cowboys fans will eventually forgive Elliott for holding out, if they haven’t already: After the “Zeke Who?” T-shirt hit the Cowboys’ website Thursday afternoon, 220 sold in the first hour.
• Crazy scene in Dallas last night as ESPN televised a high school football game between Parish Episcopal and Trinity Christian. Parish’s stadium had added security and – for some reason – Friday classes started late. Not because Shedeur Sanders (the eighth-ranked quarterback on ESPN’s junior recruiting list) was on hand. But because his father, Deion, is Trinity Christian’s offensive coordinator. Prime Time still dominates prime time.
• One of the few Cowboys to excel after leaving the star was Walls, who won a Super Bowl in 1990 with the Giants after being released by Jimmy Johnson. “I loved that 1990 Giants team,” Walls says. “But I certainly don’t love the New York Giants.” To prove it, Walls said he never wears his Super Bowl ring inside Texas state lines. Kudos, Cubby.
• Never thought I’d live to see the day that a U.S. president claimed to have never even heard of Category 5 hurricane. Mind. Boggling.
• Us old-timers remember Doug Donley as “White Lightning,” one of the fastest receivers in Cowboys history. His son Drew is even faster, apparently. Running at Frisco’s Lebanon High School, Drew has the nation’s third-fastest 100-meter time in 2019. Guess the speed doesn’t fall far from the apple tree.
• Yes, Dave Chappelle’s new Netflix comedy “Sticks & Stones” is edgy. But I admit I nodded and laughed when he addressed suicide through the lives of Anthony Bourdain and one of his childhood friends who wound up working at Foot Locker. Unique perspective, albeit dark.
• I was wrong when I predicted Zeke’s holdout would be a disaster. Damned if his agent(s) didn’t accomplish what I thought was impossible: Miss training camp, get the largest contract in running back history, and get paid before teammates Amari Cooper and Dak Prescott, both of whom are in the final year of their deals. Impressive.
• One last nugget from Everson. He claims there was only player during the head coach’s 29 years that scared Tom Landry. I was shocked to hear the name: “John Dutton.” The burly Nebraska defensive lineman apparently wasn’t afraid to do the unthinkable and cuss out God’s Coach. “If he didn’t like a drill, he’d yell at Coach Landry, even call him a ‘Motherfucker’,” Walls said. “Tom would just walk away; pretend he didn’t hear it.”
• This weekend? Saturday morning is tennis practice, followed by what could be the best college football day in Texas this year. Sunday is the Cowboys’ opener and then – yeah, I know, kinda sudden and surprising – a trip to Ireland with Sybil. Unless I can find some awesome McWifi, no Whitt’s End next week. As always, don’t be a stranger. Especially if you’re in Ireland next week.